On Privatizing Marriage By: Max Borders   Leave a comment

Marriage is society’s primary institutional arrangement that defines parenthood.
–Jennifer Roback Morse

The idea of marriage privatization is picking up steam. And it makes strange bedfellows.

There are old-school gay activists suspicious that state marriage is a way for politicians to socially engineer the family through the tax code. There are religious conservatives who are upset that a state institution seems to violate their sacred values. Don’t forget the libertarians for whom “privatize it” is more a reflex than a product of reflection.

But they all agree: it would be a good idea to get the government out of the marriage business. Principle, it turns out, is pragmatic.

First, let’s disentangle two meanings for one word that easily get confused. When we say “marriage,” we might be referring to:

A. a commitment a couple enters into as a rite or acknowledgment within a religious institution or community group (private); or

B. a legal relationship that two people enter into, which the state currently licenses (public).

Now, the questions that follow are: Does the government need to be involved in A? The near-universal answer in the United States is no. But does the government need to be as involved as it is in B? Here’s where the debate gets going.

I think the government can and should get out of B, and everyone will be better for it. This is what I mean by marriage privatization.

Some argue that marriage is “irreducibly public.” For Jennifer Roback Morse, it has to do with the fate of children and families. For Shikha Dalmia, it has to do with the specter of increased government involvement, a reinflamed culture war, and a curious concern about religious institutions creating their own marriage laws.

First, let’s consider the issue of children. According to Unmarried.org:

  • 39.7 percent of all births are to unmarried women (Centers for Disease Control, 2007).
  • Nearly 40 percent of heterosexual, unmarried American households include children (Child Protective Services, 2007).
  • 41 percent of first births by unmarried women are to cohabiting partners (Larry Bumpass and Hsien-Hen Lu, 2000).

Does the law leave provisions for the children of the unmarried? Of course. So while state marriage might add some special sauce to your tax bill or to your benefits package, family court and family codes aren’t likely to go anywhere, whatever we do with marriage. This is not a sociological argument about whether children have statistically better life prospects when they are brought up by two married parents. Nor is it a question about gender, sexuality, and parental roles. It’s simply a response to the idea that marriage is “irreducibly public” due to having children. It is not. (I’ll pass over the problem for this argument that some married couples never have children.)

Dalmia is also concerned that “true privatization would require more than just getting the government out of the marriage licensing and registration business. It would mean giving communities the authority to write their own marriage rules and enforce them on couples.”

It’s true. Couples, as a part of free religious association, might have to accept some definition of marriage as a condition of membership in a religious community. But, writes Dalmia, “This would mean letting Mormon marriages be governed by the Church of the Latter Day Saints codebook, Muslims by Koranic sharia, Hassids by the Old Testament, and gays by their own church or non-religious equivalent.” And all of this is could be true up to a point.

But Dalmia overstates the case. Presumably, no religious organization would be able to set up codes that run counter to the civil and criminal laws in some jurisdiction. So if it were part of the Koranic sharia code to beat your wife for failure to wear the hijab at Costco, that rule would run afoul of laws against spousal abuse. Mormon codes might sanction polygamy, but the state might have other ideas. So again, it’s not clear what sort of magical protection state marriage conjures.

What about Dalmia’s concern that in the absence of state marriage, “every aspect of a couple’s relationship would have to be contractually worked out from scratch in advance”? Never mind that some people would see being able to work out the details of a contract governing their lives as a good thing (for one, it might prevent ugly divorce proceedings). There is no reason to think that all the functions normal, unmarried couples with children and property have in terms of recourse to “default” law would not still be available. Not only would simple legal templates for private marriage emerge, but states could establish default civil unions in the absence of couples pursuing private alternatives.

There is no reason to think that all the functions normal, unmarried couples with children and property have in terms of recourse to “default” law would not still be available.

Indeed, if people did not like some default option — as they might not now — there would be better incentives for couples to anticipate the eventualities of marital life. People would have to settle questions involving cohabitation, property, and children just as they do for retirement and for death. Millions of gay couples had to do this prior to the Supreme Court’s ruling on marriage equality. Millions of unmarried couples do it today. The difference is that there would be a set of private marriage choices in a layer atop the default, just as people may opt for private arbitration in lieu of government courts.

In the debates leading up to marriage equality, an eminently sensible proposal had been that even if you don’t like the idea of hammering out a detailed contract with your spouse-to-be, simply changing the name of the entire statutory regime to “civil unions” would have gone a long way toward putting the whole gay-marriage debate to bed. The conservatives would have been able to say that, in terms of their sacred traditions and cultural community (as in A), “marriage” is between one man and one woman. Gay couples would have to find a church or institution that would marry them under A. But everybody would have some equal legal provision under the law to get all the benefits that accrue to people under B. You’d just have to call it a “civil union.”

And that’s fine as far as it goes.

But I like full privatization because “marriage” is currently a crazy quilt of special privileges and goodies that everybody wants access to — unmarried people be damned. But marriage should confer neither special favors nor goodies from the state. We can quibble about who is to be at the bedside of a dying loved one. Beyond that, marriage (under definition B) is mostly about equal access to government-granted privileges.

Not only does the idea that marriage is irreducibly public represent a failure of imagination with respect to robust common law, it also resembles arguments made against privatization in other areas, such as currency, education, and health care. Just because we can’t always envision it doesn’t make it impossible.

Max Borders

Max Borders

Max Borders is the founder and Executive Director of Social Evolution—a non-profit organization dedicated to building the movement to liberate humanity through innovation. Max is also co-founder of the Voice & Exit event and former editor at the Foundation for Economic Education (FEE). Max is a futurist, a theorist, a published author and an entrepreneur.

This article was originally published on FEE.org. Read the original article.


More Short Stories to be Posted Soon   Leave a comment

I will be posting more short stories on the blog and many of them will be in the first person because I feel that first person stories make it easier to see the story from the main character’s prospective and get a feeling of who they are as a person.

The two short stories that I post will be a continuation to the two I have posted already called “The Other Side of the Tracks” the second part to that will be in two parts as well where just to give fair warning the first part of “The Train has Left the Station” will be written as the last words of someone who has committed suicide it will be him writing Tilly a letter explaining why he did what he did as well as what he did in Africa that he can’t get out of head. The third part to “The Other Side of the Tracks” will take me some time to write as I want to make sure everything is worded correctly and that it doesn’t glorify suicide as a viable option.

The other stories that I will be posting will also deal with issues that I find are important  and overlooked by many people. The reason why is that I find that stories even ones that are fictional in nature can help people see curtain situations in a new or from a new prospective which is why I write stories as I believe I can help people with them.  I will also take requests for plot ideas and write about them if I feel they’re worth while and people could learn something from the plot that was suggested. The only way to suggest a plot is to donate to my Patreon at this link https://www.patreon.com/gender_normal

I also welcome any comments on the stories that are posted.


Short Story #7(Fictional Written in 1st Person)   Leave a comment

The Other Side of the Tracks

Part 2: Tilly Prospective

By John Andrade

I remember when I first meant Alastair it was when we were three years old and his parents more in next door from us on the post in Tabyhanna, Pennsylvania. The Tabyhanna Army Depot which is the logistics center for the United States Defense Department which my father General Lucian O’Hara who is very protective of me, but because he had requested Alastair’s father as his second in command. Alastair and myself became fast friends.

When were 15 years old we would always hangout at an old railroad junction just the two of us. Alastair didn’t know it at the time, but over the years I had developed feelings for him and I tried all kinds of things to get him to notice me like this one time when we went swimming I wore a two piece bikini as I had always worn a one piece every other time we went to the beach, but he didn’t even stare at me. I would always stare at him whenever we went to the beach as he has a great body as he works out with his father and he wore the jammer style swimsuit which hugged every curve on his body including his butt which I liked. The day we went to the old railroad junction I decided to where some tight-fitting jeans and tank top that showed off my breasts. While we were at the railroad junction it started to downpour we ran around in the rail like we used to do when we were younger until we heard thunder and saw lightning which was when we ran inside of the closest building where Alastair started a fire inside a metal container, so we could get warm.

I decided to use the fact that our clothes were wet to get Alastair to undress in front of me. I told him that our clothes would dry faster if we hung them close to the fire he agreed, and we undressed but said nothing. This was longest time went without talking to one another. It was during that moment I noticed Alastair staring at me, so I leaned in and kissed him. He reacted by jumping backwards saying, “What the fuck!” to which I responded by saying, “I saw the way you were looking at me. So, I know you want to.”, I knew he was weirded out as we were long time friends. While our clothes were drying we kissed and explored each other’s body, but it didn’t any further than that.


When the rain stopped, and our clothes were dry. We got dressed and went home it was midnight and when we got to our houses both our parents were outside waiting for us. We said our goodnights and when inside our houses. My father was mad at me for being out late with a boy. I don’t like lying to my father, but if I told him that Alastair and I kissed he wouldn’t let me see him again. So, I told him that we had to hunker down in an old railroad station house until the rain stopped. I left out the part about Alastair and I sitting in our underwear together. My father told that next time just to come straight home which I agreed to do. After which my parents and I ate dinner and I went up to my room, but all I could think about was how Alastair looked sitting in his underwear. I touched myself thinking about him and the way he looked that evening, being wet and muscled with the nicest abs I’ve ever seen. I had also though about the he felt mostly his butt as my hands barely moved anywhere else because it was firm and soft at the same time. That moment we shared at the railroad junction will be one that I remember for the rest of my life.


The next day or later I should say I woke up took a shower and I decided to put on makeup and then went outside where Alastair stared at me all starry eyed as I walked over to him and then asked him, “What do you think?”, he looked me up and down for a while. I noticed that he licked his lips while doing so before telling me that I looked beautiful. I had no other response other than to smile. I grabbed Alastair’s hand and brought him to my room where I told him that I had feeling for him and that I wanted to be more than friends. I also told him that I wanted him to think about his answer and that I could wait for him. After that I put on our favorite move Across the Universe we had seen it a thousand times, only this time the songs in it had a deeper meaning for us. After the movie was over Alastair had to go home and do his chores before he left I told him that this was, “our little date” though he didn’t seem to care much, but I knew that he liked spending time with me.


Alastair had come back over an hour later where he told me that he had feelings for me. I was so happy that I leaped into his arms which looked strange as I was four inches taller than he was. Though he was strong for his size as I could feel his bicep muscle on the back of my thigh.

The next day Alastair and his parents were packing. My father had told me that they had gotten a permanent change of station or PCS’d as everyone called it. We both had been though this before with friends, but never each other. This was the worst day of my life as we both had professed our feeling for each other. That night I heard my parents arguing about Alastair’s parents getting PCS’d and I heard my father say, “It’s for her own good as it will help her focus on her studies and not boys. Plus Lt. Commander Korbin Watson will make great Post Commander there.”, Korbin Watson is Alastair’s father, but after I heard my father say that I yelled from the stairs, “I hate you dad, you’re the worst father ever!”, and went into my room and slammed the door behind me. I laid in my bed crying for about an hour until my mother came into my room and rubbed my back which then I got up and hugged her only to cry in her arms, to try and comfort me my mother said, “That if we were really meant to be together then we’d meet again.”, at the time I didn’t believe her and just went to sleep.

The next day when the truck with all their stuff was already off to Texas, but before Alastair got in his father’s pickup truck we said our goodbyes only this time we were mostly silent except for when he told me why he had to move. I told him I knew why and then said, “Sometimes I hate being a military brat.”, after which we just sat next to each other silently though you could feel it in the air how much neither of us wanted to leave one another. As Alastair got up to get in his dad’s Ford F-350, I held his hand even as his dad drove off slowly Alastair’s hand slowly slid from my hand and after his hand was no longer in mine I fell to my knees and cried. My father had to pick me up and carry me into my room, but as he laid me down on my bed I could see that he really cared about me and he regretted putting Alastair’s father’s name forward for a promotion as my father was about to stand up straight I reached up and hugged him and apologized for what I said last night. My father didn’t say anything back, but I heard him cry for the first time in my life.

After that day I kept in touch with Alastair and wrote him back every chance I got. That went on until we both went to different colleges after which we lost touch for some time. While I was at college I meant a boy there and dated for awhile and he want to have sex at the time I did too, but when we were about to do it and as he was just about to climb on top of me I pushed him away and said, “I can’t because I’m in love with someone else.”, he then said that it was fine as he could tell I wasn’t really into it anyway. He was right as all I could think about was Alastair and the moment we shared at the railroad junction as well as the way his body felt. After the night with that guy we stayed friends, but we weren’t close friends. The rest of my college life was focused on my major which was in Elementary Education after four years I graduated with honors and joined the United States Peace Corps because they needed teachers for an African mission they were planning and that’s where they sent me. For the first four months everything was fine, and the country was stable without any problems, but the local news and the reports that we were getting from the US Embassy in the country were telling us to be prepared in case we had to evacuated if things didn’t get better. The next two months things got worse in the country and we started packing in case we had to be evacuated I was hoping that we didn’t, but I couldn’t control that. Each night was horrifying as there was guns firing every night I didn’t like it at all and couldn’t sleep because of it and that I couldn’t get sponsorship for the children I was teaching so that the US military soldiers that came to get us could take them too, but the State Department wouldn’t approve it.


The next couple of weeks were frightening as all we heard was guns firing from what seemed like every direction. We could have been surrounded for all we knew, but on the seventh week that’s when Alastair and his unit came to evacuate us. The moment I saw Alastair the first thing I did was run up and hug him it was like I couldn’t control my actions it just happened. After our short reunion gun fire started to come our way Alastair told me to get inside, so I gathered the children that were there and got inside with everyone else. Something told me to look out of the window, so I could see who was attacking us. I don’t know why I did this as I could have been shot. When I carefully looked out of the window I saw kids they couldn’t be no more than 10 or 12 years old shooting at Alastair and his unit, so I ducked down and after another 30 mins or, so the gun fire stopped. The Lieutenant of Alastair’s unit told us not to come out yet. I guess it was, so they could cover the bodies and after they were done the Lieutenant told us we could come out. I went outside and saw Alastair had the blankest stare on his face that I have ever seen. I knew that if I said something he’d say something that he thought was funny in response to it, but all I could say was, “I told you I’d wait for you.”, to which he responded, “But did you have to do it in Africa.”, after that was said Alastair and me just stood there silently and more was said in silence than words could muster. My group and I grabbed our things and started loading into the Humvees the soldiers let the children in as well, but they told us that they could only move them to a safe area away from the fighting. At the base I said goodbye to the children and Alastair who had to stay to continue his mission. Before I left I also said goodbye to my father who was there commanding the operation, I told him that I wanted both him and Alastair to come home safely. To which he just looked at me and smiled then kissed me on the forehead. After I had gotten back stateside the only thing I could was watch the news. I knew that it would only make me worry more, but it was the only thing I could think to do while I was waiting for Alastair and my father to come home.


The news reported that US troops in Africa were coming home and I was happy about that. The day that the plane that was bringing them home arrived my mother and I both went to meet them. It was the happiest day of my life I hugged Alastair, but I could tell something had changed in him. I decided to move in with Alastair as I thought it would be good for him to have a constant in his life and I was right things got better as his smile came back which made me happy. Then one day Alastair proposed to me we had been living together for five months and it surprised me because Alastair was always the kind of person who wouldn’t do bold things like this, but I said yes, and we got married. We had a short honeymoon as Alastair could only get a two-week pass, but that was all we needed. A month after our marriage and honeymoon I told Alastair that I was pregnant, but what sucked was that a month into my pregnancy Alastair had received his orders and he was going back to Africa. Alastair looked at me with the saddest eyes and said, “I think God wants us to be apart.”, I told him that was true, hugged and kissed him. The day of his deployment we said our goodbyes and we both had tears in our eyes we kissed each other then he kneeled and kissed my stomach then stood up hugged and kissed me one last time and boarded the plane.

The deployment took longer than they said it would, but I kept in touch with him over Skype and even as it came time for me to give birth I requested that they Skype the whole thing, so he could watch it. Which they did, and it made him happy as he didn’t want to miss the birth of his child. After childbirth I was tired a lot, but I had my mother to help me with our son Alijah. I made sure to chat with Alastair every chance I had, and Alijah was sitting there with me, I felt bad as Alastair had to watch his son grow up over Skype. Alijah kept asking me when he could hug his daddy and I didn’t have an answer for him, so I just kept telling him soon. Then I received a call saying that Alastair was coming home I was so happy. After the call ended I told Alijah that his daddy was coming home and when Alijah said, “Yay, I can finally hug my daddy.”, while jumping on his bed made me cry. The date of his arrival, I had gotten Alijah and myself dressed and went to meet Alastair. Alijah and I watched the plane land and the soldiers get off the plane and go to their respective families, after some time Alijah saw Alastair and ran up to him as fast as he could I watched as Alastair kneeled and Alijah jumped into his arms. I wasn’t far behind, I hugged Alastair and Alijah. The first weeks were fine, but after that I started noticing things about Alastair that I don’t think he noticed them. Because one night he was sitting up in bed talking to himself and when I asked who he was talking to he told me no one and laid down and went to sleep. Most of the things I noticed were about his sleep habits as he wasn’t sleeping much and that he drank more than usual, but that wasn’t too bad. That went on for five years, but now Alastair is different as one time I woke up to see him standing over me just staring at me it creeped me out. Then one-night Alastair choked me he stopped after I slapped him, I know he didn’t mean it as I could see that his eyes were glazed over as if he was still sleeping. I told him about it the morning after it happened, but he had no memory of doing it at all.

The next day Alastair took Alijah fishing they were gone for about three hours, but when they came back Alijah had a cast on his arm. I asked Alastair want happened and he told me that he heard a sound that caused him to tackle Alijah, but when I asked Alijah what had happened he told be that Alastair tackled him after he saw a group of young black kids in an old pickup truck drive by. This was what made me go talk to my father about Alastair’s behavior and my father told me that he wanted to talk to Alastair alone a soldier to soldier conversation. So that day after I had picked Alijah up from school I when to my parents’ house where Alijah, my mother, and I sat and talked while my mother showed Alijah pictures of me when I was his age. About four hours later Alastair and my father walked into the house where Alastair said that he was going to seek treatment for PTSD. I hugged him and told him that when he got back Alijah and me would be here waiting for him. Then Alastair told me that it was an outpatient group session and that they had a group for spouses as well and that he thought it would be good me to go to that as it could help answer any questions I had. That’s why I’m here today talking to all of you now, I hope this helps me get the man I married back because I don’t like who he became.

Short Story #6(Fictional written in 1st person)   Leave a comment

The Other Side of the Tracks

By: John Andrade

When I was younger I’d would hangout at an old railroad junction with my only friend at the time Tilly. The two of us were like two peas in a pod. Our parents used to call us “Popeye and Olive Oil” because she was taller than me and I was strong for my small size, some people would think that Tilly and I were dating because of the way we acted with each other and that she would change in front of me if we were going to hangout at the beach. I remember one time when we were hanging out at the railroad junction and it was way past the time when we were supposed to be home, but it had started railing so had taken shelter in one of the old building but by the time we had got inside we were soaked. Tilly suggested that we hang up our wet clothes around the fire I had made in a steel drum which I intentionally made small, so I could have more control over it. After I had got the fire started fully I looked up and Tilly was already undressed, now I had seen naked before, but this time was something was different as I couldn’t stop staring at her body which was wet from the rain and new thoughts ran through my head that I didn’t understand at the time. I must have been staring for a long time because Tilly asked me what was wrong and why wasn’t I out of my wet clothes yet, I said nothing as I undressed and hung my clothes by the fire. Tilly and I sat without talking to each other for some time.

Tilly looked at me for awhile before leaning in and kissing me, which was a shock for me because I jumped backwards saying, “What the fuck!”, Tilly looked at me and said, “I saw the way you were looking at me. So, I know you want to.”, I did but it was strange because we’ve been friends sense we were three years old and we were 15 years old at that time so I guess it was hormones or something, but I did kiss her back that night well to be honest we did more than that until the rain stopped and we went home after our clothes were dry and we got dressed. When we got home both of our parents were there waiting for us and Tilly’s parents took her home. My parents mostly my dad as he was a military man and likes it when I make it home on time or before my curfew was up. My father wanted me to join the military when I turned 18 of course at the time I didn’t want to be anything like my father as I though he was “up his own ass” most of the time. My father heard me out and he said that what I did was smart. The next day I went over to Tilly’s house it was different than normal as this time Tilly was wearing make-up something she does or at least I’ve never seen her wear make-up before once again I was dumbfounded by her. I never knew she could look so beautiful. When she got to my side she asked me, “What do you think?”, I looked her up and down and told her she looked beautiful, she smiled at me, grabbed my hand, and took me to her room. When we got there, she told me that she had feelings for me that were more than friendship and at the time I didn’t know how I felt about her, but she told me that she could wait for my answer about how I felt about her.

That day we stayed in her room all day and watched movies, she called it “our little date” I didn’t care because I liked spending time with her. I had go home and do yard work, while I was doing yard work, all I could think about was her. I made the decision that I would tell her how I felt about her and when I was finished with the yard work I told my father that I would do I went back over Tilly’s house to tell her how I felt about her to which she was happy about it. Later that night I overheard my parents talking about us having to move because my father received a PCS or a permanent change of station to a post in Texas. I’m used to being PCS’d, but this time it was different because it would mean I would have to leave Tilly and we just professed our feeling for each other.

That night I cried because I didn’t want to leave Tilly behind, I knew I could write, talk on the phone and over the internet, but it wouldn’t be the same. The next day I had to start packing which I did, but I didn’t like it as I was packing my father came in and asked me what was wrong I told him that Tilly and I had professed our feeling for each other, and my father being a religious man told me that if I had faith that things would work out in the end and I would see her again when I needed her the most. I wasn’t very religious myself but that help me a lot with having to move away from Tilly. Before I got in the truck I said my good-byes to Tilly as well as why I had to move and said that sometimes she hated being a military brat and I must admit that at that moment I did too. We sat together silently until I had to leave, and I must tell you that more was said in that moment of silence than we could have said out loud. After driving for what seemed like forever we arrived at the post in Texas, I unpacked and put a picture of Tilly and me on my nightstand, so she would be the last person I saw when I went to sleep and the first person I saw when I woke up. I wrote her everyday and she wrote me back which kept going until we both enrolled in college. We applied to the same colleges, but we were each accepted into different ones. After college I followed in my father’s footsteps and joined the Army and by chance I was posted at the post where I grew up and I ended up living one house down from my old house. Tilly’s parents still lived on the base in the same house I thought that she would be there, but her mother told me that Tilly had never got married and was out with the Peace Corps in Africa. She had always talked about joining the Peace Corps when we were younger. I spent weeks on post until one day I received my deployment orders and it was to where Tilly’s Peace Corps unit or whatever they call it was. When I boarded the C-130 Tilly’s parent’s saw me off well her mother did as she was seeing her husband off as well as he was my commanding officer. We boarded the C-130 and flew into Germany and then into Africa where once we got there we set up a forward operating base or FOB for short. After which we were told that our main job was to evacuate US citizens in country, but we were not to get involved in the fighting going on or to fire at any opposition forces or OPFOR for short unless we were fired on first. I knew that many of the US citizens here were with the United States Peace Corps and US Embassy staff. I also wondered if I would run into Tilly or if some other squad would be the ones to evacuate her. Intelligence told us that a civil war was breaking out in the country and the top brass of the military wanted us to get in and out without incident many of my fellow soldiers wanted the same thing as well. The mission was peaceful as no one fired at us, so everything was going as planned as we were able to get who we needed to get and get out of the area. The days went by being much the same way as the other days until one day when my squad was assigned to evacuate the last group of civilians. We arrived to where they were located, and we were hearing distant gunfire which put everyone on edge. The lieutenant announced who we were, and the Peace Corps group came out with young children and I saw Tilly as she came out last. When she saw me, she ran up to me and hugged me. We were silent in that moment and once again more was said in silence then if we were to talk. The silence was broken by one of squad mates saying, “That’s how you get him to shut up”, I looked at Tilly for awhile before she said, “I told you I’d wait for you” to which I replied, “But did you have to do it in Africa”, as we were waiting for the Peace Corps group to get their things an OPFOR group pulled up and blocked our way pointing their guns at us to which we responded by pointing our guns at them both sides looked ready to fight but their leader came out to the front and said that all he wanted was the children. Many of us could see that most of the people pointing guns at us were as young as ten years old and we didn’t want to fire at them as we knew we could kill them easily with our superior training. We radioed into headquarters and were told not to hand the kids over to them, to which they responded by opening fire on us we returned fire and they retreated after which we loaded up the Peace Corps group and the kids it was a tight squeeze, but we all fit we got them the FOB and reported in what happen. The next day command had received a message from an OPFOR group who heard about what happen the other day and wanted to talk to us I was ordered to accompany a lieutenant to the meeting when we got there we saw it was the general who by our intelligence started the civil war in the country he said that he knew that we didn’t want to get involved but that because of the incident we would get involved. The talk when on for hours but he told us that he had taken care of it and that all US forces could leave but if we had to return it would be to help his group. After the meeting we finished up what we needed to do and left the country. Personally, I had a bad feeling about the whole situation, but I was happy to be leaving that country. About five months later after the operation in Africa I asked Tilly to marry me she said yes of course, and we were married in two weeks’ time. A month had passed, and Tilly told me she was pregnant and about a month into the pregnancy I received orders that said we would be heading back to the country in Africa where I reunited with Tilly. I was beginning to think that God wanted us apart.

The date of deployment came, Tilly and I said our good-byes and I boarded the C-130 to head to Africa once again. The operation was different this time as we were going there to actively fight in a war. This whole operation was said that it would take weeks and we’d be back home. I had to watch the birth of my son via live video. They said that it was going to take weeks, but we’ve been here for five years, but today is the day that we were given the order to return home stateside as the country was stabilizing and we were no longer needed there. After I returned home I finally got to hold my son in my arms because up until that point I had only ever talked to him via Skype he knew who I was because of those talks we had. The first couple of months back were fine, but after my son’s tenth birthday things started getting strange as I could sleep because I was having nightmares of an event that happened back in Africa. It wasn’t PTSD because why would it take this long to manifest. Then one day I had taken my son fishing when I heard a loud bang and I dove on top of my son breaking his arm and two of his ribs, but I when I looked up it was just because a guy had back his truck into pole. So, after that incident my son seems to be scared to be alone with me and I can’t blame him as I would be scared to be alone with father too if he tackled me for no reason. Then there were a couple of times Tilly said I had choked her in my sleep, but I don’t remember doing that at all because I would never hurt Tilly. At that time, I had no idea what was wrong with me, but as I sit here talking to all of you I realize that it is PTSD, but I want to know why it would take five years to manifest and not surface after I had returned from Africa.

Posted February 12, 2018 by snova332 in short story

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What’s Wrong with Nationalism?   Leave a comment

I feel I have to ask this question, because with the way current trends are heading in the United States nationalism is rising and getting more popular and many on the left only want to say that it’s “White Nationalism” on the rise. Though I think that people in the United States are starting to regain/find their nationalist  identity that this country had during the Cold War in the 1980’s where there was a common enemy for the US to hate in the USSR where no matter what your race was you were still American. That’s something that we don’t have at the moment because many on the left politically want to invite all these refugees in who don’t have any intention of assimilating into the US or even learn English. I know that the United States is the only country that doesn’t have an official language, but a majority of people in the country speak English so it makes sense to learn the language before coming to the US to immigrate. There isn’t anything wrong with loving your country and wanting to keep out people who will do it and its’ people harm because a secure border is a safer border. Then there are all of the social safety net which supposed to be for the citizen of this country and there are some on the left that want to give access to those program to incoming refugees and immigrants which isn’t right because a country’s first priority should be to it’s people not outsiders. I personally think that we should temporarily close our borders and not accept any one in regardless of their race or situation until we deal with the people we have in this country already either by making them citizens or sending them back I would prefer that we make them citizens and increase the number of tax payers because most of them have been here for years but for anyone who has been in this country for less than five years should be deported back to their country of origin. I know it sounds mean for me to say that but they had no right to come here in the first place. Why does the United States have to lead the world in anything or even be the world police there are plenty of problems that need to fixed right here in this country that would help the people here and lift many out of poverty and provide a better living for many, many people here in the United States. All of the constant yelling about how Trump is a fascist and a racist has pushed me further to right that I find myself siding with some of the Alt-Right’s points so good job leftists on creating the current situation that we’re in. Because if the left doesn’t change it’s ways then many people in this country will also be pushed further to the right and the left will have no one to blame but themselves so if there is anyone on the left that stills wants to reign in the communists on the left then all of you need to unite and push them out.

Transgender Kids: Are We Doing More Harm Than Good?   Leave a comment

This is a really good blog about children Recommended read

Posted January 11, 2018 by snova332 in Uncategorized

Name and direction change   Leave a comment

So I didn’t change the name of the blog I just added that it is about two internet talk shows I want to get started one by the name of Gender Normal and the other by the name of Conversations.

Gender Normal will be a round table discussion in the style of the view and focus on “Hot Topics” in the GLBTQ+ community as a whole. While Conversations will be an interview show hosting one on one interviews in a conversational format with anyone who wants to come on the show which I will personally host on YouTube Live. The round table show Gender Normal will be recorded and posted on our YouTube Channel.

Posted January 9, 2018 by snova332 in Uncategorized

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Proverbs for a Happy Life   Leave a comment

I wrote these awhile back when I was in my 20’s, but I think that they need to be shared with people other than myself. When I wrote these I considered myself a philosopher which is far from what I am. Though I think that they can help someone, somewhere. Give them a read and let me know what you think. If you’re wondering what RS stands for, it stands for Raven Storm a name I gave myself when I considered myself a Pagan.


When I was home alone I started to think about my life and I made up some proverbs the first one I made up goes.

  • RS 1:1- For One to dwell on the the past is one who lives in reverse, to move ahead in life one must be able to put the past aside to see the path ahead clearly.
  • RS 1:2- To let go of the past is to embrace the future, your future.
  • RS 1:3- If one can’t let go of the past, then one must look back to look ahead.
  • RS 1:4- Sometimes the future is best told by the past and the past is best told by the future.



The next set goes like this.

  • RS 2:1- For One who wants to learn, one must be willing to learn.
  • RS 2:2- Learning is easy, it’s teaching that is hard.
  • RS 2:3- If teaching is hard why does everyone say learning is hard, because if one is not willing to learn then knowledge will not come easy.
  • RS 2:4- The question is when one has knowledge, what will one do with it, and how will one use it.
  • RS 2:5- It’s not knowledge that’s bad, but how it is used.


The next set goes like this

  • RS 3:1- A clean life leads to a happy life.
  • RS 3:2- If one’s life is dirty, then one will only attract negativity.
  • RS 3:3- One’s life must attract an equal amount of both clean and dirty things, for if one attracts to many clean things one’s life is boring and if one attracts to many dirty things one’s life is dangerous.
  • RS 3:4- One must live in moderation.


The final set goes like this.

  • RS 4:1- If one makes a mistake one must live with it, deal with it, learn from it.
  • RS 4:2- One who learns from a mistake has strength.
  • RS 4:3- One who makes a mistake is human.
  • RS 4:4- Can one who makes no mistakes be called human, yes one can be called perfect.
  • RS 4:5- But one who makes no mistakes can also be called dumb, because every one makes mistakes no one is perfect.


These are just words to live by and do not apply to everyone. How do you apply these to your everyday life. Well that is completely up to you and how you view your life. I can’t tell you how to live your life nor can I tell you what to believe it’s all up to you and how you view your life. I also made up a code while playing Star Wars: KOTOR it goes something like this. 

  • There is no Anger, there is only peace
  • with Peace there is order
  • with Order there is victory
  • with Victory there is strength
  • with Strength there is truth
  • The Truth shall set you free.

 The acronym for the above is APOVST, catchy right.

How you integrate these into your life is once again up to you, I call that “The Pagan Code” you can see a video about it on YouTube just search for “The Pagan Code” and you can watch it along with other videos of mine. How do these proverbs help you in your everyday life well they give you guidelines on how to live at least from my point of view.


New Teespring Store   Leave a comment

Visit my new teespring store at Gender Normal Store I will add more products to it as time goes by. 50% of the profits from the item you buy go to St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital that on both items there at the moment.

Posted December 20, 2017 by snova332 in Uncategorized

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My Patreon and Where the Money will go.   Leave a comment

So I do have a patreon and I figured out that I want to post things to it where you have to be a patreon to get access to. Also it would help me with starting this up as a web show, and brand where both Liberals and Conservatives come together. Which is something that is much needed in today’s political climate. This will in my opinion show people that the best way to deal with problems is to talk about the differences in opinions that we have. That means all opinions no matter how offensive it may be. If we don’t talk about the problems that we have then how are we suppose to deal with and fix them.

The money received from patreon will go towards items on my sweetwater wish list. Except for this product “Schlagwerk MyCajon Construction Kit – Medium” that is a personal item that I want to buy on my own time, and hopefully it will be off of the list before people start supporting the starting of the brand monetarily. There will be other things that I’ll be adding to wish list over time like microphones along with other sound equipment, video editing software, and sound editing software. The money will also go towards getting a permanent web address and not a sub-domain. Though I still haven’t decided on which video site I want to use either Vimeo or YouTube as because YouTube wants creators to make content suitable for a five year old. The web show I want to create isn’t what a five year old should be watching. As I want to show to talk about politics, sex, sexuality, gender identity, and social issues. In the future I may acquire or create a show designed to explain sex, sexuality, and gender identity to young children but I want to work on one project at a time.

The money will also go to getting video cameras and other video equipment as well as lighting rigs with lights. There will also be a studio where shows will be recorded or filmed live. There will also be seating for a studio audience where people can buy tickets to be apart of said audience. The show and brand will keep improving because of the support it receives from fans. The money received will also go towards paying show hosts and crew members a like.

Posted December 18, 2017 by snova332 in Uncategorized

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