My Love Life

I want to talk about my love life because I think that it may help someone else if they’re going through the same thing. Now I have only been with two people one male and one female who will remain nameless to respect their privacy and I haven’t been with anyone else maybe because I’m subconsciously waiting for the male to “come out” because when we were together it was in junior high school(middle school) and I wasn’t out then either, but I don’t think he even wants to remember what we did as for the girl we ended it because I moved away and neither of us wanted a long distance relationship I don’t know what she has been up to, but I hear good things which is fine. Back to the boy I was with in Jr High we’re still friends I think he remembers, but he wants to forget it just the way he acts whenever he ask me to visit is a little possessive and he gets upset if I can’t make it he’s suppose to be engaged to nice woman who’s kids love him. I think he’s conflicted and confused about his sexuality which is probably why I’m subconsciously waiting for something that’s more than likely never going to happen for while it is hurting my love life because I’m scared that if I do start seeing someone he might reveal that he has feelings for me. I’m trying to put that behind me and just move on with my love life and just tell him if he does that he had his chance and it’s too late. I met cool guy online we went to a club had fun, but because I’m subconsciously waiting for someone else I didn’t let it go anywhere if I try again with the guy I met online then I’m going to just say “fuck it” and get to know him better. If we end up dating and the boy from Jr High gets jealous so what he had his chance now it my turn to be happy for once. What I’m trying to get at is that you can’t wait for people to anything that they’re not ready to do because you know something about them that they themselves don’t want to admit to the world about who they really are. Him and me are friends, but I done waiting for him to come out about who he is, but if he does I’ll be there to support him no matter what decision he makes I just won’t be the “other person”.


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